In this Episode (12) we go grocery shopping, find an original Roman recipe for soul food, and crash a medieval super bowl party to catch the play of the millenium on instant replay
Hi and welcome to Episode 12 of the Hansel and Gretel Code: "Soul Kitchen Nachos"
Part 1 [04:48] - in which we say grace and get lost looking for the frozen pizzas
Part 2 [09:58] - in which we reach the checkout counter and find that some demon is demanding our whole paycheck... it rains like a... and um, we do get really potty-mouthed
Part 3 [17:29] - in which we turn on Wide World of Sports and watch a 3 day medieval Super Bowl played in the snow
Part 4 [28:56] - in which we run into the earliest soup nazi, and find out that Shark Week is coming early this year
🎶 Schubert - Piano Sonata no. 21 in B flat major D.960 III. Allegro vivace con Delicatezza 🎶
In our last episode (11) we started work on the 3rd sentence of the fairy tale and we learned that the fickle finger of a very active christian deity had pushed the famine button making all the bread disappear...
[oh crap!]
and as anyone who has spent any time in Germany knows, depriving a German of bread is just as diabolic a cause of misery and angst as depriving an American of french fries...
[woman screams]
we also found out that right from the start — from their first, 1812 edition onwards — the Grimm’s had decided to baptize the utterly agnostic bread of the manuscript...
[sacred sounds - priest praying...]
by calling it Daily Bread, the Grimms were clearly referencing the Lord’s Prayer / the christian Pater noster, and not so subtly suggesting that we think of Hansel and Gretel Bread as Soul Food...
[oh my god!]
yes, indeedy...
now what’s super-significant about that is — while we could take it at face value, and imagine the brothers were just being their devout, Calvinist selves, gratuitously smearing bland Christian schmalz over the plain black bread of the manuscript — it might actually be that they were deliberately and shrewdly offering their own 2 cents regarding the interpretation of metaphors and symbols in the story...
in other words, instead of taking the Hansel and Gretel bread and famine literally — as most interpretations and interpreters seem to insist — it’s more than possible that the Grimms were well aware this was all meant to be understood as metaphor... and they were encouraging US to do the same by tossing out a big fat softball of a clue... one that could help us decode some of the juicy secrets they themselves knew were hidden within the text...
[no way]
it’s still early days, and it’s only one such instance... I can tell you though, not only won’t it be the last... we might actually be on to something that no Grimm’s scholar or scholarship has ever before suggested...
[oh, really?]
hey, I told you we were already becoming fairy tale pioneers by bringing temperament and typology into our investigation...
today we’re gonna take our pioneering to another level...
after we run a couple of errands, we’re gonna crash the wildest super bowl party of all time, and discover how soul food became the official snack food of all medieval super bowls...
[sounds good to me, Curtis]
we’re also gonna learn how the sudden lack of food on the woodcutter family table has everything to do with him betting on the wrong team...
[oh crap!]
okay, so before we go off in search of the beer and nachos, let’s take another listen to the first 3 lines of our fairytale manuscript... then, for comparison, let’s listen to the Grimm’s baptized version... and, just as a reminder, that second recording comes from the good people at Librivox and is read by Bob Neufeld...
Manuscript version:
Once upon a time there was a poor woodcutter who lived before a great forest. He had it so rough he could barely feed his wife and his two children. Once, there wasn’t even any more bread, [...]
[aww...]
1843 version:
Hard by a great forest dwelt a poor woodcutter with his wife and his two children. The boy was called Hansel, and the girl, Gretel. He had little to bite and to break, and once, when great dearth fell on the land, he could no longer procure even daily bread.
[this is gonna suck]
*🎶*🎶*
PART 1 [03:53]
Teil Eins: in which we say grace, and get lost looking for the frozen pizzas
So if this (daily) bread IS religious, sacramental Grace (as dispensed by the clergy in their man-made cathedrals and churches) — or some sort of nebulous, if not numinous, mana from heaven — maybe we really are justified in understanding our woodcutter’s chronic poverty as an expression of his religious humility and piety... in other words: his state of grace...
[god bless me / every sunday]
and if we think through the metaphor, maybe poverty and humility are the currency he uses to buy his daily share of grace... grace being everyone’s insurance policy against eternal damnation...
[scream-3-women]
still, why was this grace always in such short supply? was he just not humble enough...?
[um, I think, maybe]
And for goodness sake, why then does this grace suddenly go completely missing?
Why this sudden, disastrous fall from grace? Does it mean that he’s now in a state of sin?
[um, I’m not so sure]
I hate to keep harping on this, but if our woodcutter, diligently following his calling and working in the forest of the Unconscious, is symbolic of someone praying within the proper bounds of their own religion, why is he never reaping much of any benefit from all that prayer and devotion?
And why, all of a sudden, is there no benefit whatsoever?
Is this the fault of the Consciousness symbolized by the 4-square woodcutter family...?
Hell, is it the fault of the religion...?
[i don’t think so]
or is there something otherwise completely extraneous and Unconscious we’re missing or that we haven’t yet been told?
[so how should I know — who even cares?]
Well, I'm sorry, but our woodcutter just does not seem to be at fault for causing this acute problem.
Even if we insist that it's only laziness causing his chronic poverty, the Grimms themselves insist that this is a collective famine — not one limited to a single family, or even a single consciousness... So a state of sin doesn't make any real sense, even if we were to pin the blame on Adam and Eve, and label it Original Sin.
[ooh]
And for sure, nothing seems to explain why the woodcutter's usual state of grace is so friggen meagre to begin with.
Of course, given the common, existential reality of our own post modern cynicism, this piss-poor state of medieval grace makes much more sense applied to our Zeitgeist than it does to theirs.
[a confused, what?]
Even more fundamentally, is this the sort of thing we would expect from anyone living a deliberate life — or piously practicing their religion — in any historical moment???
[have a little more faith]
Well, whether or not we ourselves are interested in living a deliberate life, this thing: this grace, or soul food, or whatever you want to call it, is now completely gone... So we'd better figure out exactly what it is and where to find it. Because the fairy tale is telling those of us invested in the story that whatever the hell it is, having it simply isn't optional. Just like food, it's a matter of life and death — for EVERYONE.
[what?]
now, considering that we’re dealing with a metaphor, we’re going to have to rely on our Intuition to solve the problem and find whatever this missing thing is... because the place we’re going to have to look for it is in the Unconscious...
relying on Logic is fine, only so long as we’re dealing with this famine as literal... and this bread as just another grocery item...
start nosing around metaphor and the Unconscious, and Logic alone will just get us lost and stuck... probably somewhere in the frozen food section...
[where-are-we]
one good thing though, Logic will eventually, start looking for a way out...
[we need a clean up on aisle 13... that's aisle 13]
*🎶*🎶*
PART 2 [03:53]
Teil Zwei: in which we reach the checkout counter and find that some demon is demanding our whole paycheck... it rains like a (#!&*#!!)... and um, we do get really potty-mouthed
As we learned in Episode 11 the historic model for this fairytale famine was most likely the so-called Great Famine of 1315 — a terrifying act of god that affected the entire population of Europe and lasted for years...
You can be sure that everyone having to deal with the Great Famine — logical-minded and superstitious people alike — did everything they possibly could to find an empiric cause for the problem.
[why, why, why, WHY?]
They just naturally figured, pinpointing the cause that got them into this mess SHOULD lead them to some logical conclusions about how to get the hell out of it...
***
Because cause and effect is an entirely logical preoccupation, first causes were a huge topic of medieval intellectual conversation and study.
From the Stanford encyclopedia of Philosophy:
The well known Book of Causes (Liber de causis) is an Arabic adaption <"The Book of Aristotle's Explanation of the Pure Good"> of Proclus' "Elements of Theology", made in the 9th century. Translated in the 12th century, the Liber de causis circulated in the Middle Ages under the name of Aristotle, and was considered as a complement to the Metaphysics, offering a treatise on the divine causes. The text entered the corpus of Aristotelian works and was intensively studied and commented at the universities. Thomas Aquinas is the first to have discovered that this work derived in fact from Proclus' Elements of Theology, of which he had obtained a Latin translation made by his Dominican confrere William of Moerbeke in 1268.
***
Understandably, most people considered the famine to be a punishment from God.
[Thunder clap and rain]
Some of the less judgmental souls — and staunch free will skeptics — might have assumed it was simply written in the stars — which man was powerless to influence.
Still, given the overwhelming power of Christian conscience and guilt, and the medieval state of Logic and Reason, most everyone figured the underlying cause was the fault of man giving in to the temptation of demons.
Among the various solutions relied on, was a marked increase in religious devotion...
🎶 holy-singing-choir 🎶
with pledges, vows and sacrifices all designed to favorably influence and appease the offended and punishing deity...
[you fools, I give you the simplest tasks... I even give you ice cream... and still, you disappoint me!]
and this actually included processions of those famous wackadoodle zealots, the flagellants — whose numbers surged dramatically in this period of history...
[sounds of whipping] / [ouch!]
[you pathetic morons!]
also, given the severity of the situation and the desperation of the population, even the religious faithful would have hedged their bets with a superstitious mix of prayer and necromancy...
[what’s that?]
that is to say, various forms of magic meant to counteract the work of demons... which, in some cases meant getting them to work FOR you...
[oh, good!]
All in all, most everyone tried to deal logically with forces only their Intuition could comprehend... and by logically, I simply mean thinking in terms of cause and effect...
Unfortunately for them, the chief cause of the Great Famine was something that has forever stymied Logic...
[what’s that?]
it was the weather...
[weather report]
[thunder-storm and rain]
So, once again, if we're gonna go with this famine as metaphor — and therefore give our Intuition the reins — we're going to have to go off in search of this mysterious missing mana that we're all to this day still dying for...
oh, and don’t bother asking any of those helpful, green-aproned grocery clerks... that’s just a waste of your time and theirs... they don’t know which aisle it’s in either...
[dad joke groans]
Of course maybe it’s still just a matter of Money, or lack of it — which should be much easier to remedy than lousy weather...
in fact, the word the Grimms use for famine is Theuerung... which these days, simply means inflation...
and for sure, heinously inflated prices for food — organic and otherwise — were a prominent feature of the Great Famine... so maybe we DO need to stick with it and just follow the money.
[I like that!]
nah... we’ve already tried that and found it much too literal to get us anywhere...
there IS, however, a corollary of money that just might be the ticket...
[hmm... what’s that?]
well, that’s Power... which the Vatican had enough of to make even Jeff Bezos envious...
[whistle in awe]
so, let’s just take a quick little jaunt in the Time Machine and head back to Rome... the year is 1215, and we’re about to pay a quick visit to the 4th Lateran Council as they go about the business of exercising their power...
[a few exasperated "oh boy"s]
oh, don’t worry, we’re not gonna sit in on all the Latin blah, blah blah... and at least, we’ll be out of the friggen rain...
all we need is one brief snippet of what they had to say about the appointment of preachers:
🎶 church bells 🎶
[crowd murmuring and quieting down]
[blah, blah, blah]
Among the various things that are conducive to the salvation of the Christian people, the nourishment of God's word is recognized to be especially necessary, since just as the body is fed with material food so the soul is fed with spiritual food... man lives not by bread alone but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.
[oh, and I suppose you think that’s funny, huh?]
well, it is kinda like a mother bird feeding her young, dontcha think...?
[ugh... ew...!]
anyway what this tells us is that the word of God, provided by the franchise of officially licensed preachers is, itself, the soul food that’s missing...
[that’s correct (walkie-talkie)]
and that is, indeed, what medieval christians fervently believed...
[fer sure!]
so now that we’ve got the word on this, let’s hop back on the Time Machine, and instead of going forward, let’s go back another 138 years to January 25th 1077...
[I hope this wasn’t a waste of time]
well, I promise that once we arrive, we’re gonna get the definitive answer to our burning question:
(WTF) did an entire population do to deserve the collective fall from grace symbolized by our fairytale famine?
[Curtis, what happened?]
*🎶*🎶*
PART 3 [03:53]
Teil Drei: in which we turn on Wide World of Sports and watch a 3 day medieval Super Bowl played in the snow
the spot we’re heading towards is now one hell of a lonely, wind-swept ruin on the heights of a place, oh, about 20 Km south-east of Parma...
[there’s absolutely nothing to be seen here, just trees]
well, having once visited it myself, I know that you get a nice view of the Alps from there...
you can also see what little is left of the castle that lent its name to the place — a castle that had been owned by one hell of a powerful lady...
[“Mr. President, I’m delighted to welcome you and Mrs. Trump to Buckingham palace this evening”]
uh, no, not that lady...
[ooh!]
well, on January 25th 1077, the lady in question had a house, er, castle guest by the name of Pope Gregory VII...
and, you know, the fact that you can find her fancy marble tomb right there in St. Peter’s in the Vatican... well, I don’t wanna cast no aspersions, but I don’t think she was no saint, if you know what I mean...
[I heard that]
her name was Matilda...
and the name of her castle was Canossa.
[si, si, si, esatto]
Whether or not you've heard of Canossa, you might argue that I'm leading us on a very obscure, wild goose chase — but once we've examined (however cursorily) this single strand of a very long and twisted trans-alpine historico-religious thread, we're going to find that it's intimately woven into the composition of our entire fairy tale tapestry...
alrighty then, are you ready for this?
[whatever]
here goes:
Socio-economic-political-religious power-gamesmanship doesn’t sound like much of a sport — and could easily be turned into a comically long German vocabulary word...
[ja, ja... it’s okay...]
it can also be summed up in that one word: Canossa, a word that’s as loaded and significant to Western Europeans as the word Columbus is to Americans...
[is that so?]
Canossa, as a meme — or historical sound byte — actually sums up a veritable Super Bowl of medieval history...
🎶 the great Wayne Mesmer singing at the NHL All Star Game in 1991 🎶
okay, okay... woohoo...!
The big play of that game was set up in 1076, almost an entire year earlier, right after Pope Gregory VII sacked the Holy Roman Emperor, Henry IV...
listen to Keith Jackson giving it his patented:
Whoa, Nellie!
so in the instant replay we can see that what Gregory did was to both excommunicate Henry and kick him off the throne...
this pretty much happened right before half-time in what had been an ongoing pissing contest between Church and State otherwise known by the throat parching, academic title of "The Investiture Controversy"
[dry coughing]
Of course there had always been wars and political intrigues everywhere in Europe, and this dispute — being no different — was ultimately going to be decided by a clash of military forces on somebody or other's home turf... The turf part, of course, belonging to one of the principles involved, but the home part — well, it was ALWAYS the local peasants and THEIR homes suffering the destructive horrors of war (see artists like Goya and Callot for the graphic details)...
[crowd booing]
The peasant victims in this instance were, not so surprisingly, the Germanic ancestors of our woodcutter.
[German football fans singing]
[I know, I know]
Now, the rules of the game included one called the Divine Right of Kings which belonged to the captain of the Emperor’s team... they also had a separate rule belonging to the captain of the Vatican team, allowing him to claim authority over anything called Divine... together those rules added a serious layer of intrigue and confusion to a political game of already overwhelming complexity.
[what seems to be the problem?]
In that turbulent millennial Zeitgeist, with Church and State so ambiguously and incestuously intertwined, Gregory and Henry were essentially disputing control over the Super Trophy of Divine Power... A thousand year old trump card, if you will...
The Emperor arguing that he had the power to choose the Pope, and the Pope arguing that he had the power to choose the Emperor...
of course you can see that this game would have had to be a real snooze fest... with both teams chasing each other’s tail like that, it was bound to end in a frustrating tie...
[ this is just awful ]
sure enough, throughout the game, the two of teams did little more than a whole lot of trash talking...
[ move out of the way, stupid ]
and in the highlight reels, we do, in fact, have all the ridiculous and insulting letters they sent back and forth to each other:
[Trump and Graham insulting each other]
oops...! uh, wrong highlight reel...
try these:
https://sourcebooks.fordham.edu/source/henry4-to-g7a.asp
https://sourcebooks.fordham.edu/sbook1l.asp#Phase%20I:%20The%20Invesituture%20Controversy
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pope_Gregory_VII#Start_of_conflict_with_the_Emperor
there was, however, one more super-special rule that guaranteed real excitement: it was a rule allowing the captain of the Vatican team to triple penalize the Emperor... which is exactly what Gregory did — by slapping Henry and his team with the super-sized penalty known as excommunication, anathema and interdiction...
[Yikes!]
Due to the potent nature of pre-Reformation belief in the dire consequences of excommunication, it's not at all far-fetched for us to see that, psychologically, excommunication is hauntingly similar to the child abandonment in our fairy tale... metaphorically speaking, of course... meaning that getting kicked out of the Church is not-so-coincidentally akin to Hansel and Gretel getting kicked out of the house...
[interesting]
let’s not get ahead of ourselves, though... because what we’ve got right in front of us is wild and crazy enough...
listen to Keith Jackson telling us:
this is one of those games, that echoes forever; this is a game that reaches across generations; this is a game where players make the big plays
in fact, it’s the stuff of legends — and medieval highlight reels — and it’s worth any number of instant replays from all sorts of angles...
and for the last 1000 years it’s stood as a play that’s nearly as famous as — Vinko Bogataj's ski ramp fail in Wide World of Sports
[ooh!]
As one of the most famous of all medieval sound bytes, and the most famous Super Bowl play of all time, Henry’s response to the penalty of excommunication might as well have been the very first Agony of Defeat moment...
[ouch...]
in German it’s known as the Walk to Canossa (der Gang nach Canossa)... kinda like Henry just took a walk across the Alps and down into Parma for some decent Italian food...
[the sun is shining down on me]
In Italian, though, it’s not so surprisingly known, instead, as
[spaghetti]
um..., no... the Humiliation of Canossa (l'Umiliazione di Canossa)...
[si, si, esatto]
So here’s the story: having been excommunicated, Henry's plan — not unlike that of Hansel — was, before anything else, to find his way back into the Church... which he did...
what we’re talking about now... actually what everyone in Europe has been talking about ever since: is the WAY he did it...
[How?]
Being the famous, and vaguely apocryphal, sound byte that it is, you can read about Henry’s play most anywhere... although wikipedia (The Road to Canossa), like most contemporary descriptions does a lot of hemming and hawing over the historicity of the facts and factoids... in other words, the wiki article does its best to throw the cold water of Logic on this living and breathing thousand year old meme...
[water being dumped from a bucket]
a meme capturing the arrogance of victory and the humiliation of defeat whenever we humans find ourselves forced — against our will — to apologize to someone...
[alright already, get on with it!]
a 19th century article written without all of the “supposedly"s and “allegedly”s is good enough, but the story I remember from grammar school is probably much closer to the one that’s still alive deep in the European Consciousness... and that is:
Henry, bare-headed and wearing a hair shirt, knelt in the snow for 3 days and 3 nights, all the while knocking on the castle doors, pleading for entry and begging the pope’s forgiveness...
[sound of crowd cheering] / [sound of door knocking] / [open the door!] / [please!]/ [it’s locked]
they call it in some circles, the Hail Mary... it was certainly prayerful
and, oh yeah, he was barefoot too... so, uh, talk about cooling your heels...!
[dad joke groans and moans]
* check out this resource for another telling of the tale...
*🎶*🎶*
PART 4 [03:53]
Teil Vier: in which we run into the earliest soup nazi ... and find out that Shark Week is coming early this year
of course the reason behind Henry's self-effacing (or humiliating) walk to beg Gregory’s forgiveness was all politics... the excommunication and anathema part, politically motivated as it was, didn’t bother Henry any more than the spiritual consequences of using birth control bother modern Catholics...
no, as far as Henry was concerned, excommunication and anathema were strictly minor penalties... more like an offsides or delay of game...
[get back here! that’s a penalty for showing off]
no, the real kicker was that third part of the penalty... THAT was a game changer,
[more crowd noise]
listen to Keith Jackson calling this:
an absolutely shocking finish
and not because of its effect on Henry... the real problem it presented was its effect on the rest of his team... his constituency...
[what happened?]
You see, Henry’s excommunication carried with it the crucial and devastating blow of a papal interdiction...
[what’s that?]
According to the rule books, an interdiction meant that anyone who continued to respect and obey Henry as liege, emperor and uh, team captain, was not necessarily excommunicated themselves... no, interdiction meant they were now forbidden to enter a church and receive the sacraments...
this meant they couldn’t baptize their children, or even bury their dead in the good graces of the Church...
and, oh yeah... there was to be absolutely no preaching, so: no soup for them...!
er, I mean, no word of God for them...!
[crowd intake of breath....]
you uh, get where I’m going with this...?
[no!]
all of Henry’s subjects — essentially everyone in Germany — well, they were now completely deprived of the daily bread of religious grace!
[what?]
What this amounted to was a blatant and powerful form of ecclesiastic blackmail... And once again, it was the faithful and devout peasants who suffered the most... Stuck between the Scylla and Charybdis of papal vs. imperial dominion, they were denied all forms of sacramental grace through no fault of their own.
[that’s not fair!]
HERE then is the cheeky historical truth behind our metaphoric famine!
[that’s it!]
For anyone NOT brought up in a Catholic or Christian family, this might be difficult to understand, but for Germans, and Europeans in general — even those of the Protestant persuasion, whose ancestors had been Catholic for many generations — this was arguably, the worst experience of harsh, punishing treatment ever visited upon European Catholics by the Vatican...
[why? sobbing]
because this meant they were now all at risk of eternal damnation...
[3 women screaming]
and while this was the most famous instance, it was neither the first nor the last time it would happen to them...
over the centuries, various popes never hesitated to drop the nuclear option of excommunication and interdiction on recalcitrant political opponents and their hapless, blameless subjects...
[wow, asshole]
in fact while there were plenty of famines and plagues throughout the Middle Ages, there were probably way more of these heinous and terrifying acts of papal blackmail than there were terrible and terrifying acts of god...
[don’t, don't say that...]
***
This was, in fact, the very sort of problem that Gioacchino, and any Free Spirit type who shared his perspective, hoped to see eliminated, but was, understandably, a potent spiritual / political weapon that the Vatican was loathe to relinquish...
***
so there we have it... with bread symbolizing religious grace, we can now run with the hypothesis that our fairytale famine is metaphoric code for excommunication and papal interdiction...
[Lewis, I think I found what we’re looking for]
well, I for one, sure as hell think we have...
I’m also sure that since Henry’s team didn’t cover the spread, our woodcutter is now worried about loansharks...
[uh oh]
because in our next episode, we find out that he’s having full blown panic attacks and can’t stop dreaming about Jaws...
[crowd gasp]
so let’s just take another listen to our first 3 lines of the fairytale, plus the next piece that advances the story...
Once upon a time there was a poor woodcutter who lived before a great forest. He had it so rough he could barely feed his wife and his two children. Once, there wasn’t even any more bread,
[aww...]
and he was terrified...
[man screaming]
well, thanks for listening...
I hope you’re enjoying the story... I sure as hell enjoy sharing it with you...
and once again, if you would please, please, please share it with someone you think might enjoy it too...
well that at least will make um, like, uh 3 or geeze, maybe even 4 of us...
[oh my god]
just remember that if you’d like a free copy of the original manuscript version of the story — the one I’m using here — just go to the website and send me an email requesting the pdf... hit the link that says: “Talk to me” and tell me you want the pdf... easy peasy...
This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
I’ll send it to you and put you on my mailing list...
alrighty, then... ciao a tutti...
[ciao, ciao]
*Chapter Titles read by Anna Jacobsen*
*Librivox recording of Hansel and Gretel read by Bob Neufeld*
Music Credits
*🎶*🎶* Bleeping Demo by Kevin MacLeod of filmmusic.io
Schubert - Piano Sonata no. 21 in B-flat major, D. 960 - III. Scherzo：Allegro vivace con delicatezza - performed byPaul Pitman and courtesy of musopen.org
Schubert - Six Musical Moments, D. 780 - III. Allegro moderato in F minor performed by Sofja Gülbadamova (licensed under Creative Commons Attribution 3.0) and courtesy of musopen.org
kristo's awesome Peanut Gallery
(most, courtesy of freesound.org)
["ciao"] 00:05
"ciao" courtesy of Nighteller and freesound.org
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[oh crap!] 00:33 & 03:33
oh, crap! courtesy of AmeAngelofSin and freesound.org
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[woman screams] 00:53
"woman screams" courtesy of Richard Frohlich and freesound.org
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[sacred sounds - priest praying] 01:09
liturgy courtesy of ramagochi and freesound.org
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["oh my god...!"] 01:27 & 34:51
oh my god courtesy of pyro13djt and freesound.org
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[“no way...” guy] 02:34
“no way” (guy) courtesy of kathid and freesound.org
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["oh, really?"] 02:53
"oh, really?" courtesy of xyahka and freesound.org
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[sounds good to me, Curtis] 03:21
sounds good to me, Curtis courtesy of IPaddeh and freesound.org
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[“This is gonna suck”] 04:38
This is gonna suck" courtesy of nooc and freesound.org
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["awww"] 04:16 & 34:20
aww-cute courtesy of vahdena and freesound.org
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[god bless me / every sunday] 05:28
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[scream...! (3 women)] 05:48 & 32:25
”scream-3-women)” courtesy of thanvannispen and freesound.org
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[um, I think, maybe] 05:59
"um, I think maybe..." courtesy of cognito perceptu
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[um, I’m not so sure] 06:16
"um, I’m not so sure..." courtesy of cognito perceptu
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[I don’t think so] 06:57
“I don't think so (girl)” courtesy of deleted_user_1390811 and freesound.org
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[so how should I know — who even cares?] 07:08
"so how should I know..." courtesy of ballOOnhead and freesound.org
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[“ooh”] 07:43
"oooh" courtesy of brunchik and freesound.org
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[a confused “what...?”] 08:09
“what...?? (girl)" courtesy of Alivvie and freesound.org
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[have a little more faith] 08:24
"a little more faith" courtesy of IPaddeh and freesound.org
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[what?!?] 09:00
"what?!?" courtesy of Reitanna Seishin and freesound.org
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[where are we?] 09:37
"where are we?" courtesy of
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[clean up on aisle 13] 09:45
"clean up on aisle 13" courtesy of aprilariesman and freesound.org
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[why, why, why, WHY] 10:50
"why x4" courtesy of Reitanna Seishin and freesound.org
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[Thunder clap and rain] 11:10
"thunder strike 01" courtesy of Mike Koenig and soundbible.com
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"thunderstorm 1" courtesy of hargissssound and freesound.org
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"Perfect Thunder Storm" courtesy of Mike Koenig and soundbible.com
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[holy-singing-choir] 11:49
holy-singing-choir courtesy of Kadin and samplefocus.com
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[you fools, I give you the simplest tasks... I even give you ice cream... and still, you disappoint me!] 12:02
"you fools...!" courtesy of ballOOnhead and freesound.org
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[sound of whipping] 12:21
sounds of whipping courtesy of Syna-Max and freesound.org
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[ouch!] 12:24 & 26:01
Ouch - guy courtesy of haydenswift_1030 and freesound.org
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[you pathetic morons] 12:28
you pathetic morons courtesy of ballOOnhead and freesound.org
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[what’s that? - guy] 12:44, 13:21 & 30:19
what's that? courtesy of ballOOnhead and freesound.org
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["ooh, good!"] 12:56
“ooh, good!” courtesy of Iceofdoom and freesound.org
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[what’s that? - guy] 13:21
what's that? courtesy of ballOOnhead and freesound.org
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[weather report] 13:25
weather report courtesy of harveyjnz and freesound.org
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[thunder-storm]
"thunder strike 02" courtesy of Mike Koenig and soundbible.com
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[dad joke groans] 13:59 & 28:49
lots of moans and groans courtesy of TeamMasaka and freesound.org
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[“I like that!”] 14:36
“I like that!” courtesy of FreqMan and freesound.org
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[hmm... what’s that? (girl)] 14:52
“hmmm, what’s this?” courtesy of pyro13djt and freesound.org
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[whistle-in-awe] 15:00
"whistle-in-awe" courtesy of InspectorJ and freesound.org
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[“oh boy”] 15:18
“an exasperated, “oh boy... oh boy...” courtesy of AmeAngelofSin and freesound.org
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[church bells] 15:31
church bells courtesy of freesoundjon01 and freesound.org
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[crowd murmuring and quieting down] 15:38
audience becomes still (02) courtesy of klankbeeld and freesound.org
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["blah, blah, blah"] 15:40
"blah, blah, blah" courtesy of unfa and freesound.org
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["think that’s funny, huh?"] 16:17
"oh, and I suppose you think that’s funny, huh..." courtesy of shawshank73 and freesound.org
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["ugh! ew!"] 16:25
"ew!" courtesy of isabellaquintero97 and freesound.org
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[walkie-talkie: “that’s correct”] 16:40
radio “that’s correct" courtesy of cityrocker and freesound.org
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[fer sure] 16:46
“fer sure” courtesy of Iceofdoom and freesound.org
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[I hope this wasn’t a waste of time] 17:02
"I hope this wasn’t a waste of time" courtesy of IPaddeh and freesound.org
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[Curtis, what happened?] 17:21
"Curtis, what happened?" courtesy of IPaddeh and freesound.org
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[there’s absolutely nothing to be seen here, just trees] 17:53
"absolutely nothing here" courtesy of IPaddeh and freesound.org
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[ooh!] 18:23
"why" courtesy of Reitanna Seishin and freesound.org
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[I heard that] 18:52
"I heard that" courtesy of Coral_Island_Studios
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***
[si, si, si...! / esatto!] 19:00 & 26:34
"si, si, si...!" courtesy of maurolupo and freesound.org
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"esatto!" courtesy of kommunic8 and freesound.org
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***
[whatever...] 19:34
"whatever..." courtesy of pörnill and freesound.org
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[“ja, ja, it's okay”] 19:49
"ja, ja, it's okay” courtesy of Roses1401 and freesound.org
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["is that so?"] 20:05
"is that so?" courtesy of kurtless and freesound.org
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[dry coughing] 21:11
“dry coughs” courtesy of danieldouch and freesound.org
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[crowd booing] 21:43
“crowd booing” courtesy of tim.kahn and freesound.org
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[German football fans]21:53
"German football fans" courtesy of nurinusde and freesound.org
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[I know, I know] 22:00
“I know” courtesy of Roses1401 and freesound.org
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["what seems to be the problem?"] 22:31
“what seems to be the problem?” courtesy of AmeAngelofSin and freesound.org
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[ this is just awful ] 23:15
"this is just awful" courtesy of deleted_user_1390811 and freesound.org
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[ move out of the way, stupid ] 23:22
"out of the way, stupid" courtesy of jppi_Stu and freesound.org
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[uh, oh] 23:51 & 33:42
"uh-oh" courtesy of DWOBoyle and freesound.org
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[“Yikes!"] 24:20
"Yikes!" courtesy of jorickhoofd and freesound.org
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[“interesting...”] 24:52
"interesting..." courtesy of Reitanna Seishin and freesound.org
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[ooh!] 25:44
"ooh!" courtesy of Reitanna Seishin and freesound.org
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[ouch...! (guy)] 26:01
Ouch - guy courtesy of haydenswift_1030 and freesound.org
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[the sun is shining down on me]
the sun is shining courtesy of Roses1401 and freesound.org
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[spaghetti] 26:25
"spaghetti" courtesy of Nighteller and freesound.org
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[How?] 27:01
How? courtesy of simons7er and freesound.org
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[water being dumped from a bucket] 27:31
water splash bucket - 7 courtesy of wormer2 and freesound.org
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[alright already, get on with it!] 27:46
alright already! courtesy of metrostock99 and freesound.org
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[sound of door knocking] / [open the door!] 28:20
knock on door courtesy of Legnalegna55 and freesound.org
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[please!] 28:29
“please!” courtesy of AmeAngelofSin and freesound.org
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[it’s locked] 28:31
"it’s locked" courtesy of Thegamemakerqueen and freesound.org
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[get back here! that’s a penalty for showing off] 29:44
get back here courtesy of ballOOnhead and freesound.org
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[what happened?] 30:10
"what happened?" courtesy of Reitanna Seishin and freesound.org
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[what’s that?] 30:19
what's that? courtesy of ballOOnhead and freesound.org
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[crowd intake of breath] 31:02
“audience gasp” courtesy of FreqMan and freesound.org
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[“No!"] 31:07
“No!” courtesy of theuncertainman and freesound.org
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[what?] 31:18
what courtesy of Reitanna Seishin and freesound.org
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[that’s not fair!] 31:43
not fair courtesy of ballOOnhead and freesound.org
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[“that’s it!] 31:51
"that’s it…!" courtesy of javapimp and freesound.org
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[why? (sobbing)] 32:17
why? sobbing courtesy of acclivity and freesound.org
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[scream (3 women)] 32:25
”scream-3-women)” courtesy of thanvannispen and freesound.org
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["wow, asshole"] 32:52
wow asshole courtesy of Iceofdoom and freesound.org
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["don't say that...!] 33:11
"don’t say that...!" courtesy of Reitanna Seishin and freesound.org
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["Lewis, I think I've found what we're looking for"] 33:28
I think I've found what we're looking for" courtesy of IPaddeh and freesound.org
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[crowd gasp] 33:53
group-shocked!" courtesy of thanvannispen and freesound.org
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["awww"] 04:16 & 34:20
aww-cute courtesy of vahdena and freesound.org
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[man screaming] 34:25
man screaming (frustration) courtesy of jorickhoofd and freesound.org
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[oh my god] 34:51
oh my god courtesy of pyro13djt and freesound.org
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["ciao, ciao"] 35:05
"ciao, ciao" courtesy of Nighteller and freesound.org
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got a question, or just want to say hi...?
Episode 11 - Whose turn to say grace? / Episode 13 - We're gonna need a bigger boat