In Ep. 31 we spill the beans on Hermes Trismegistus, the Magic 8-Ball, and Hansel's Strange Uncle Albert
Part 1 [03:34] - In which we spill the beans on Hermes Trismegistus and find out what kind of hat he doesn't wear
Part 2 [15:51] - In which we read the most infamous passage in Antiquity, and find out what Hermes Trismegistus has to do with mowing the lawn
Part 3 [27:58] - In which we discover the true origin of the Magic 8-Ball, and meet some famous Talking Heads who won't, er, I mean, can't give autographs
Part 4 [37:08] - In which we introduce Hansel’s Strange Uncle, Big Albert: another medieval screw-ball, er, I mean 8-ball, maker
Part 5 [42:03] - In which we check the links in a golden chain and drop a few famous names, like Moe, Larry, and Elvis
🎶 Let the Rest of The World Go By 🎶
[what is this?]
[well, I don’t know]
[are you sure?]
[OMG]
[the following presentation is intended only for immature audiences]
[in the beginning god created the heaven and the earth]
😇 🎶 heavenly choir 🎶 😇
["And God said 'Let there be F-Bombs' — And they were good — And they multiplied — right here, in this podcast"]
🤖 F F F F F 🤖
🧨 🧨 🧨 [KABOOM] 💥︎ 💥︎ 💥︎
[this is Chase (unintelligible) saying the F word, take one: FUCK!]
[Good heavens! What a terrible curse!]
🎶 🎹 dramatic organ music 🎹 🎶
🎶 🔔 deep church bell 🔔 🎶
Bless me Fader, for I have sinned, it’s been about two months since my last episode...
[you’re finished. I’m putting you on a plane to Vegas. That’s your punishment.]
hmm... not bad...
[I don’t think that was very good, really]
[ahem]
🎶 Anachronist 🎶
Hi there, and welcome back to the Hansel and Gretel Code... This here is episode 31...
[who are you? Frankenstein’s Monster?]
[this is a ridiculous exercise in noise pollution]
In our last episode we met Cornelius Agrippa, the Renaissance polymath from Cologne, Germany and the very guy the character of Hansel was modeled after, and who, btw was also the real Dr. Faustus... which is to say, the guy who Goethe modeled his Dr. Faust after...
[Pirate says, what a load of bollix]
hey, that’s fine, you don’t need to believe me... just let me know what you think after we’ve gone through the whole fairytale, okay...?
[um, I think not]
okay, then...
well, last time we figured out a way to use Agrippa’s expertise in magic to advance the cause of both Feminism and Intuition...
[who cares?]
oh man, you’re killing me here...
hey, remember we also figured out that working with AI is a Faustian deal with the devil...
[no it’s not. hey, fuck you]
[OOH!]
it’s alright...
you know, following Agrippa’s lead, we can probably figure out a way to make that AI deal work for us without uh, having to, you know, uh,
[go to hell]
[let’s go]
*🎶*🎶*
PART ONE [03:34]
Teil eins: In which we spill the beans on Hermes Trismegistus
[Eenie Meenie Chili Beanie... the spirits are about to speak]
[you mess this up, I’ll introduce you to Uncle Stanley. He’ll open you up like a tin of beans]
[yikes!]
Today, as promised I’m going to spill the beans on Hermes Trismegistus...
[hip, hip, hooray x3]
just to remind you, he’s the purported author of several ancient texts collectively known as the Hermetic literature — or just plain Hermetica... and while nobody seems to know exactly who he was, that’s never stopped a whole slew of academics from weighing in on the matter...
[of course]
he was long considered to be some mysterious, ancient philosopher whose wisdom and self-assured authority was such, it had people thinking he must have been a god...
[that is correct]
during the Renaissance, plenty of notable scholars figured he was a contemporary of Moses, and not a god but just another prophet... these days academics think he fits the profile of the ancient Egyptian god, Thoth...
[my name is unimportant]
although if he was a god, nobody knows who took down his divine dictation and, in effect, ghost wrote his books...
[I don't know anymore]
all anybody could ever say for sure was that his first-person texts were mostly dialogues with him talking to some student or acolyte... and in them he passed on his secret knowledge of the three Intuitive arts: Astrology, Alchemy, and Theurgy...
[oh wow, man]
[do you want to know a secret?]
due to its brevity, and New Age sound-bite-ability — you know: "As Above, So Below" — the Emerald Tablet is probably the best known among those texts...
[definitely]
but there’s another famous, or should I say infamous text that’s known by the name of the student involved — Asclepius — and it’s considered notorious by the über-logical, academic crowd...
[so, why?]
I’ll explain why in just a little bit... for now, just remember, the Hermetic arts are also called occult arts...
[I remember]
right, and that’s why Agrippa’s landmark work — his cookbook of magic, was titled: Three Books of Occult Philosophy... because it drew heavily on the Hermetic literature...
now in the Hermetica Hermes gives us a hefty dose of cosmology and cosmogony...
[what the fuck does that mean?]
well, those are explanations of the nature, the structure and the origin of the universe — and of mankind... and that makes the Hermetic literature a weird combination of the Hermetic arts, plus the book of Genesis and, uh, how about Milton’s Paradise Lost...
[boring!]
***
cosmology: A philosophical, religious, or mythical explanation of the nature and structure of the universe.
cosmogony: A philosophical, religious, or mythical explanation of the origin of the universe.
***
yeah, well, despite the boring bits, throughout history, anything having to do with Hermes Trismegistus (and Theurgy in particular) was thought of as synonymous with the practice of magic...
[ooh, I like that]
of course in order to perform the kind of magic ascribed to Hermes and Hermeticism, it was always assumed you needed some wise, old adept — some Yoda character, or some bearded wizard, to train you and pass on all sorts of closely guarded secrets...
[most assuredly]
yeah, sure... just think of Goethe’s entertaining story of the Sorcerer’s Apprentice — which, of course, most of us Boomers know from Walt Disney’s Fantasia...
[a confused what?]
alright... how about Harry Potter... okay?
[okay, boomer]
hey, the whole idea of learning from some geezer with a magic wand and a pointy hat is a cartoon cliché...
[mickey mouse much?]
if you really wanted to learn, the most important thing was to find somebody who could trace his or her knowledge and expertise through an unbroken chain of teachers going all the way back to Hermes Trismegistus...
[really?]
yes, indeed...
of course they also had to be willing to teach you... meaning, they had to know you personally...
yet, there was Agrippa... one such somebody who was out there spilling the beans on the whole thing... giving away all those original hermetic secrets to anyone who could pony up and buy what was (and still is) considered the ultimate cookbook of magic...
[that’s bad]
yeah, it kind of is, except right there in plain sight, and in plain English — er, I mean, in plain Latin — Agrippa included the well known, emphatic caveat that only the wise will be able to understand what he was saying...
[oh, but that’s all superstition]
not so...
of course that didn’t stop plenty of wise guys from thinking they were smart enough and wise enough to hit the jackpot and get all sorts of angels and demons to do their bidding... you know, just by following Agrippa’s secret recipes...
[how to blend 11 herbs and spices that make KFC so finger lickin’ good... that’s the Colonel’s secret. Forever.]
[ahem] but see, the occult arts aren’t so named because you need to learn all sorts of amazing secrets to practice them...
you don’t even need to become a sorcerer’s apprentice...
[and why not?]
because there’s something else you need... something that no amount of book learning or even some wise instructor can give you...
***
something you can’t get from a book or some wise, old adept ... although I think that’s what Gurdjieff, and even Agrippa, actually tried to do with his books... in fact, that would explain Agrippa’s seeming flip-flop in de Vanitate... meaning it’s part of a deliberate sequence of books — just like Gurdjieff’s...!!!
***
[what?]
you need an initiation...
[what?]
you need an initiation, just like in the ancient mystery cults...
[no way]
well, yes, way... and that’s because the real mystery...the real secret — and there really is only one secret...
that secret is Intuition...
[can you keep my secret?]
[um, I don't know]
well, Intuition requires an initiation because it’s something that can’t be learned or taught... it can only be experienced...
[bollix, just bollix]
yeah, well you can only get that experience through a carefully orchestrated rite of passage... in other words: an initiation...
[now well, now that sounds like grade a bullshit]
[are you scared of the Illuminati?]
hey, once upon a time we all had Intuition...
we’re all born with it...
in fact, just being born was enough of an initiation...
but the culture has pretty much kicked Intuition out of the house... meaning out of our Consciousness... and now, it’s mostly lost in the forest of our own Unconscious...
so in order to get it back... well... that’s what this fairytale — and this podcast — is for... and learning who the real Hermes Trismegistus was is a huge part of getting it back...
[alright already, get on with it!]
okay, right now, I’m going to tell you who Hermes Trismegistus was... although I really should say who Hermes Trismegistus is... because he’s still here...
[no way]
oh yes he is...
[liar]
you know what? You have a point...
what I just said is something of a lie because Hermes Trismegistus isn’t a he...
[it’s the girl with the big, gorgeous killer thighs]
[how do you know that?]
uh she isn’t a she, either...
[I’m sorry, what?]
[what the fuck is this? I am confused]
just like the original Hermaphroditus of Greek mythology — the son of Hermes and Aphrodite — Hermes Trismegistus isn’t one gender or the other...
[what are you talking about?]
remember, we said last time that Intuition isn’t gender specific...
[I remember]
well... Hermes Trismegistus is the voice of Intuition — your own Intuition... so in other words, Hermes T. is a personification of your own Intuition...
[oh my god! oh my god!! oh my god!!!]
that’s pretty much the deal... so maybe I should say Hermes T. is the Archetype of your Intuition... and anything legitimately written in his, or I mean their name, was, and should always be obtained by way of Theurgic ritual...
[this is really confusing for me]
so I don’t know if you’re familiar with Jung’s Red Book
[no sir!]
that's alright... all you need to know is that it’s a record of his own Theurgic ritual — what he called Active Imagination
he also spoke of is as the Transcendent Function...
so in this big book with a fancy red cover he recorded his conversations with someone named Philemon... but I’m here to tell you that really means Philemon was Hermes T — the Archetype of Jung’s own Intuition...
[oh God, oh Jesus!]
calling himself Philemon would mean that the voice of Hermes was filtered through Western European Culture and through Jung’s individual Cultural upbringing... meaning his family, his Christianity, and, maybe above all: his extensive reading...
see, Philemon and his wife Baucis appear in Ovid’s great Latin poem, the Metamorphoses, as the humble and generous hosts of Jupiter and Mercury... the gods had disguised themselves as traveling peasants, and were more or less shooed away by everyone except that humble couple...
in the context of this episode, their story becomes another take on the real premise of Hansel and Gretel — meaning: how the Culture teaches us to reject Intuition and Feeling... and how only some people choose to welcome them into Consciousness as honored guests... and how, of course, they’ll be rewarded for doing so...
***
Philemon and Baucis also appear in Part 2 of Goethe’s Faust...
***
so Jung had his Philemon (and Salome), but you can bet that Siberian shaman, for example, have different names for Hermes T, as do Native Americans, Asians, and any other culture across the globe...
you and I would as well...
[nonsense!]
hey, conversations like those recorded in Jung’s Red Book, and in the Hermetica, have taken place throughout the ages... and that’s because Theurgic rituals have been, and continue to be performed to this very day...
in fact, historic records of Theurgic conversations exist in abundance, albeit without reference to Theurgy, or even to Hermes Trismegistus...
[are you out of your mind?]
hey, think of Marguerite Porete, and her Mirror of Simple Souls...
remember her from Episode 8?
[no!]
yeah, I didn't think so...
well, whenever we engage in the Hermetic arts, whether it’s Alchemy, or Theurgy, or even the daily horoscope... whether we realize it or not, we’re dealing with Hermes Trismegistus...
[you’re kidding, right...?]
hey, I’m only half kidding... because unless we’re doing any of those things under the auspices of a genuine adept — or we’re well acquainted with our own Intuition — we run the risk of unleashing forces we might not be able handle...
[oh no]
yeah, and unfortunately, I don’t just mean that bunch of busy broomsticks, like the one’s in the Sorcerer’s apprentice...
[oh no]
I mean Jung’s own caveat concerning Active Imagination and the Unconscious... in other words, there’s a potential for drowning or getting lost in it, which means unleashing a latent psychosis...
[oh crap!]
despite the danger, necromancers and magicians of all stripes have sought commerce with demons and angels... not for the sake of Henosis, and their soul — you know, returning to the ONE — but for the sake of persuading those spirits to fix shit for them that they couldn’t or wouldn’t fix for themselves...
and they did so not only by using Agrippa’s magic recipes, but by the very same Theurgic ritual described in that notorious Hermetic text I mentioned earlier: the Asclepius... specifically, a ritual that’s derisively known as animating statues...
[Piertotum Locomotor... I’ve always wanted to use that spell]
[oh my god! ridiculous!]
*🎶*🎶*
PART TWO [15:51]
Teil zwei: In which we read the most infamous passage in Antiquity, and find out what Hermes Trismegistus has to do with mowing the lawn
[you kids get off my lawn!]
[sound of lawn mower]
for the record, this business of "animating statues" is a genuine Theurgic practice alluded to in the Hermetic text I mentioned earlier... the one known as the Asclepius...
it’s important, so just let me repeat the relevant, infamous passage...
you can read it for yourself, and I’ll leave a link, but here’s the short version:
[fine. fine, then]
***
it's also called The Perfect Sermon
***
...humanity persists in imitating divinity, representing its gods in its own image...
Are you talking about statues, Trismegistus?
Statues, Asclepius, yes. ...I mean statues ensouled and conscious, filled with spirit and doing great deeds; statues that know the future and predict it by lots, by prophecy, by dreams and by many other means; statues that make people sick and cure them, bringing people pain and pleasure as each person deserves.
[yeah, so what?]
Hermes is saying that the gods actually come down, enter into the statue, and bring it to life... you just have to know that it’s not like Professor McGonagal casting a spell and turning gargoyles into warriors... it’s more like Pygmalion, or even Frankenstein's monster, except the animated statue doesn't live on and on...
the animation lasts only for the briefest time... which is to say, the time the Theurgist spends meditating in front of the statue, and paying careful attention to it...
[ha, ha, ha... right]
well, here’s the deal...
I’ve brought this up in earlier episodes... how Jung said the Latin word, numen, means a nod of the head... and how this coming to life of a statue — and seeing it give you the high sign — was the root idea behind the word numen, and the human experience of numinosity... he doesn't say so explicitly, but he was referring to this very passage in the Asclepius, and to the practice of Theurgy...
see, Jung understood this to mean an experience that’s so super-spectacular it gives you goose-bumps... something popularly known as a religious experience...
😇 🎶 heavenly choir 🎶 😇
and I think you know what I mean by that because you’ve had such experiences yourself...
you also know that as profoundly moving as they are, they’re just as fleeting as the smell of freshly cut grass or the scent of lilacs...
one instant the fragrance is there, and then it’s gone... but in that brief instant it’s there... it transports you...
in terms of Theurgy, it means being so attuned to the representation of a god or goddess, being immersed, as it were, in a humble and prayerful attitude, that the statue actually communicates with you — and here’s the important point — it may or may not do so by literally nodding its head... but I can guarantee that if and when it does communicate with you, it does so by way of your own Intuition...
and what it communicates amounts to a spectacular — albeit very brief — intuitive experience of Knowing... Knowing that your soul has been brought closer to the divine... because in that brief instant, you can literally feel divinity making itself known and present to you...
***
that's what Eliade called a theophany or hierophany
***
and THAT’s what Hermes T. is talking about in this passage...
in the context of Theurgy, to perceive a statue nodding its head is strictly an intuitive leap out of logical space and time and into sacred space and time... something you can only do or appreciate via your Intuition...
over the centuries, the idea has been mocked by logical types who take it strictly literally...
[this doesn't smell quite the way I expected]
and it’s still mocked by academics... people who have no faith in the power of Intuition, and who can only believe the very concept to be a humbug, a ridiculous delusion, or even a flagrant hallucination...
but I can tell you that this is no humbug... because I myself once had just such an experience...
[are you crazy much?]
no, I'm not crazy... and I'm not bragging... I'm only reminding myself that it actually did happen...
you see, as vivid and moving as the experience was, there’s no way to bring back the feeling... that numinous moment of sacred time and space...
that would be like trying to bring back the scent of freshly cut grass just by recalling that you have, indeed, experienced that marvelous scent some time in the past...
the Knowing... the Gnosis... that persists... even in linear space and time... and for that I’m grateful...
but the experience...? that remains outside of linear space and time... in a realm that's only available to Intuition...
sure, logic calls it something that happened in the past... and the fact remains, it did, indeed happen in linear space and time... in a factual moment of personal history...
I remember many of the facts and details of the day surrounding that moment... but if I hadn’t already been introduced to my own Intuition, I seriously doubt it ever would have happened... more importantly, I know for sure I would have either misinterpreted what did happen or just completely missed it...
and as I say this, I realize that the feeling I had in that brief numinous moment... a moment that I DIDN’t miss... well, that experience and that feeling of numinosity lives on, but only in sacred space and time...
that’s what Theurgy — and Theurgic ritual — is for: to bring us back into sacred space and time... to bring us back into the feeling... into the numinous... and that feeling...?
that’s what Henosis is...
so on that note I want to say: if you’re interested, I’d be happy to elaborate... you’d just have to contact me personally...
[absolutely not!]
yeah, well... I’ll leave a link...
of course the literal version of animating statues comes up in fiction like Harry Potter...
it’s also the very basis of Frankenstein...
and if you’re at all familiar with Italian cinema...
[per forza!]
okay, so you know that Giovannino Guareschi’s Don Camillo, the entertaining, post-war, parish priest, is always getting advice from the talking crucifix in his church...
[senza dubbio!]
yeah, but all of that fiction pre-supposes the common cultural bias that Intuition itself is fictional... and because of that bias, we most often mistake real Intuition for superstition — and vice-versa...
and over the centuries... over millennia, even... people have taken their superstitions seriously, and tried to exploit them — in a sometimes narcissistic, or even, at times, sociopathic way — by producing what I call Talking Heads...
[blah, blah, blah, blah]
🎶 Psycho Killer... qu'est-ce que c'est? Run, run, run, run, run, run, runaway 🎶
[oh boy, oh boy]
*🎶*🎶*
PART THREE [27:58]
Teil drei: In which we discover the true origin of the Magic 8-Ball, and meet some famous Talking Heads who won't, er, I mean, can't give autographs
[no autographs! No!]
[they hate you, they’ll have your head!]
[who are you talking to, lady?]
[a large part of things exist in our own heads]
[ahem]
so let me tell you a little story that should explain a whole helluva lot about Theurgy, Magic, and Religion, about the power of Intuition, and how Intuition has been twisted and misused in mankind’s desperate — and sometimes ruthless — search to find a reliable substitute for Hansel and Gretel Bread...
[alright, if you insist]
first, a little background...
[oh no, not again]
oh, come on... context is important...
the story starts in Southeastern Turkey, about 12 miles north of the Syrian border... in a town called Harran
normally we’d all get on the Time Machine and take a little trip there since this is one hell of an old story... one that apparently took place pretty often between at least 2500 BC and 1200 AD...
[ooh]
but this time we're gonna stay right where we are, and use a different sort of technology... one that's simultaneously very modern and very ancient...
[what's that?]
well, it's something that fits right into this story as a cross between a crystal ball and Wilson...
[huh?]
you know...
the volleyball from that Tom Hanks movie: Cast Away
[I remember that]
right... in fact, Tom Hanks communicating with Wilson is an excellent portrayal of exactly what this story is pointing towards...
[what's that?]
well, let's call it communication with the Unconscious... the same thing that Jung called Active Imagination...
of course, he also called it the Transcendent Function...
but instead of doing some Jungian song and dance... I’m gonna let you decide for yourself where and how it fits into the story I’m about to share...
[alright, if you say so]
after the 12th century, the people in our story, the Harranites or Harranians — who called themselves Sabians, btw — became Muslim in the 12th century, and I guess that was the end of that...
[can you please explain what the fuck you are talking about?]
going back to the time before these guys embraced Islam, they were known to worship a God by the name of Sin, who was the God of the Moon... and these Harranites — these Moon worshipers — they considered Hermes Trismegistus to be their great prophet...
[ooh]
yeah, and as interesting as that is, it’s not the important part of the story...
what is important is that they were known far and wide as Masters of the Head...
[sounds interesting]
the source of our story is an Arabic text that was eventually translated into Spanish, as so much ancient Arabic wisdom was...
[hola, me llamo Maria, and I am your daily Spanish instructor. repeat after me: Pudrete en el infierno, puta.]
[oh brother]
of course, the Spanish version made its way into Latin...
the English version — known by its Latin name: Picatrix — is still around, and just like Agrippa’s cookbook, is still hugely popular...
I’ll leave a link
[good idea]
so the original Arabic title has a typically Alchemical ring to it as it translates into: the Aim of the Sage or the Goal of the Wise... but it’s mostly a book of magic and astrology that Agrippa, himself, was well aware of... at least in the Latin version
anyway, the Latin text — or more probably the French translation — made its way to Carl Jung who relates a remarkable story of the Harranites almost verbatim from the text:
anyway, that’s how I learned of it...
***
CW 11 Psychology and Religion: West and East
***
so here goes:
a fair-haired man with dark-blue eyes was lured into a chamber of the temple, where he was immersed in a great jar filled with sesame oil. Only his head was left sticking out.
There he remained for forty days, and during this time was fed on nothing but figs soaked in sesame oil. He was not given a drop of water to drink. As a result of this treatment his body became as soft as wax.
The prisoner was repeatedly fumigated with incense, and magical formulae were pronounced over him. Eventually his head was torn off at the neck, the body remaining in the oil.
The head was then placed in a niche on the ashes of burnt olives, and was packed round with cotton wool.
More incense was burned before it, and the head would thereupon predict famines or good harvests, changes of dynasty, and other future events.
Its eyes could see, though the lids did not move. It also revealed to people their inmost thoughts, and scientific and technical questions were likewise addressed to it.
[oh wow!... I love it!]
ooh, boy...
well, as an obvious, um, organic, forerunner of the Magic 8-Ball, it’s quite a sensational talking heads story, dontcha think...?
[true, dat]
[but that is not all]
uh, right... I also learned about a less fiendish talking heads story from Jung...
it concerns Gerbert of Aurillac, the future Pope Sylvester II (who was pope for 4 years: 999-1003)...
Sylvester is way more than interesting than your average pope, and oddly enough, the source with the most interesting bits about him is a book called: Chronicles of the Kings of England
I’ll leave a link to the appropriate chapter...
[okay]
***
William of Malmesbury's Chronicle of the Kings of England / Gesta regum anglorum
***
so the story goes:
after carefully inspecting the stars...he cast for himself a bronze head that could speak...and truthfully answer questions in the affirmative or negative...
[I want that one]
apparently, Silvestro, was every bit as Intelligent, Intuitive, and Interesting as Agrippa... he was a genuine adept at all 3 Hermetic Arts: Astrology, Alchemy, and Theurgy... and considering the ugly Schadenfreude unleashed at his death, I suspect he was just as liberal and empathic as Agrippa...
[maybe]
one thing's for certain... that bronze head he made just might have been the world’s first mechanical, AI engine, or shall we say, vegan, Magic 8-Ball...
[dad joke groan]
[will I get beat up today? All signs point to yes. That ball knows everything!]
*🎶*🎶*
PART FOUR [37:08]
Teil vier: In which we introduce Hansel’s Strange Uncle Albert: another medieval screw-ball, er, I mean 8-ball, maker
[New Jersey's most famous foreign-born citizen: Professor Albert Einstein who helped discover the atom bomb]
[Hi, Big Al here in Switzerland]
[WTF?]
there’s an interesting story about St. Big Al, er, I mean St. Albertus Magnus and the mechanical talking head he constructed... this was yet another medieval AI engine, and was probably meant for the same sort of purpose as the Harranite heads — AND the Magic 8-Ball — albeit with a pious, Catholic bent... and, just like Pope Sylvester, Big Al put it together according to astrologic auguries...
[behold: the mystery of the cosmos]
the story goes that his pupil, St. Thomas Aquinas was so unnerved by the thing that he smashed it to pieces...
[oh, and I suppose you think that’s funny, huh?]
well, I particularly like that story because it happened right here in the town where I live, Cologne, Germany which is where Albertus was, and still is, a local big shot...
I also like the story because there are 2 official biographies of Albertus that make him sound like a saintly Dr. Faustus... which is to say an orthodox, Catholic, anti-Faust... you know, a magus with nothing but prayer in his heart and holy magic in his fictitious, miraculous antics...
[he was holy]
uh, right...
one episode, in particular, has Big Al asking God for permission to visit Purgatory, because, just like Faust, he was dissatisfied with knowing only the stuff he learned by reading Aristotle — and whatever books of magic he could lay his hands on...
in other words, having learned everything that could possibly be known in the world, he wanted to learn stuff that couldn’t be known...
[I’m thinking this is a double duality]
fact is, these biographies were commissioned by the Dominican successors of Al’s purview here in Cologne, in hopes of having their guy become another Santo Subito after his death in 1280... you know, get him voted into the Catholic Hall of Fame... except, for whatever reason, that was not to be... not for another 651 years to be exact...
it wasn’t until 1931 that Mr. Albertus finally became Saint Albertus...
***
Albertus, Magnus or Magus? Magic, Natural Philosophy and Religious Reform in the Late Middle Ages
***
[why, why, why, why?]
I suspect part of the reason they kept him out of the Hall must have been
[he takes steroids]
[what is steroids? in Germany we don't know steroids]
[ahem]
I guess they didn't call him Big Al for nothing...
[dad joke groans]
alright, alright...
you’d think the obvious reason they kept him out of the Hall was Big Al’s sketchy and less than scientific interest in Magic...
[I agree]
but there might have been another, even more important reason that was never fully made public:
[what’s that?]
well, by all accounts, it sounds as if Albertus, the scholar of scholars, and knower of knowers, tipped way over into dementia in his final years...
[awww]
yeah, and as sad as that is for anybody... things he did and said in the final 2 years of his life must have been not just embarrassing, but, uh, less than, well, uh saintly...
[hey, can I touch your butt?]
[ja, buns und thighs]
[ahem]
hey, I’m thinking something a touch more un-saintly...
[oh yeah? like what?]
back in the 13th Century, you gotta figure dementia would have been considered a form of insanity, which means it must have been considered a form of demonic possession... doncha’ think?
[I dunno]
I wouldn’t be surprised if Big Al came with out a few choice words of blasphemy, and probably on a daily basis...
[Jesus Christ!]
exactly.
reminds me Thomas à Kempis... the guy who wrote the Imitation of Christ... and how he got disqualified from sainthood...
[steroids?]
uh, no...
the story goes that when they dug him up to inspect him for sainthood, they found scratch marks on the inside of his coffin lid and wood splinters under his nails ...
[ugh, ew!]
since it was obvious he'd found himself buried alive, they couldn't be sure he didn't, um, blaspheme before he really passed...
[oh god! oh jesus!]
exactly.
blasphemy aside, the Vatican doesn’t let anyone into the Hall unless they perform a few miracles...
you know, like making it rain during a drought, curing a few brain tumors, or at least helping someone win a massive lottery jackpot...
[that’s not funny]
of course, miracles are something that Theurgy can produce... as can Astrology and Alchemy... and Big Al was supposed to have been an adept at least at those latter two... so this should have been a piece of cake...
then again, as far as the Vatican is concerned, only post-mortem miracles count... so maybe it took his ghost all those centuries to figure it out... You know... kinda like Phil Connors...
[am I right, or am I right, or am I right?]
[hmm... wahrscheinlich beim Wachwechsel]
[ja, ja, it’s okay]
but as I keep saying, miracles are not the goal of the Hermetic arts... or of Intuition... even if Hermes Trismegistus said that all sorts of miracles were possible...
[so what?]
miracles and magic are fun... but they’re not the goal... the goal is Henosis... getting to know the true nature of God and allowing the soul to return to God or the One without having to wait for, you know, death...
and as far as history goes, most of those talking heads were used for the sake of the ego... not the soul...
some of them were, indeed used in Theurgic ritual, but for the most part, they were used for thaumaturgy...
[what the fuck is that?]
well, thaumaturgy is just a fancy word for magic, and the ability to perform miracles... and the thing that distinguishes Theurgy from thaumaturgy — which is to say what distinguishes Theurgy from magic — is all in the attitude and intention of the magus or magician...
just to remind you: in the context of this fairytale, the object of Theurgy is to get back home to the house of the father... and the most significant Theurgic miracle would be to secure the daily bread of both the stomach and the soul...
ordinary thaumaturgy or magic is the business of a would-be Faust — an outright narcissist, or just a plain ordinary someone who's desperate enough or careless enough to give up the idea of Henosis in exchange for the power to produce plenty of bread...
[cha-ching!]
and of course, amaze his friends and confound his enemies...
[I like that!]
then again, if you read St. Paul, he’s telling the Corinthians, straight up, that by getting baptized and joining his church, you, too, can amaze your friends and confound your enemies...
if you ask me, that’s straight up propaganda — if not bribery...
[I don't think so]
hey, you can read it for yourself... it’s in 1 Corinthians Chapter 12 and it’s pretty entertaining, but it’s way too busy for me to quote here... it's something like 24 verses...
I’ll leave a link:
[roger that]
[we’ve been at this for hours now]
right, right... I didn’t want to spend so many episodes on one single line of the fairytale, but the Cumean Sibyl, herself a Theurgist, was well acquainted with Hermes Trismegistus and wanted me to do what I could to set the record straight... because both she and Hermes are in there... which is to say in the symbolism of Hansel’s Moon rocks (and in Hansel himself)... so that’s why we went down this rabbit hole of Theurgy in the first place, and why we’ve been here for so long...
well, there are more stories of talking heads and Theurgy I’d love to tell, but it’s time to move along in our fairytale...
[hooray!]
right... we’ve gotten enough meaning out of Hansel’s moon rocks... at least for now... and believe me there are plenty more surprises in them... so there’s just one more thing I want to say here...
[for the love of everything sacred and holy would you please shut your yapper]
[I have to say, I’m tired of searching]
[I’m gonna take a little break]
[are you coming, Curtis?]
alright, alright...
*🎶*🎶*
PART FIVE [42:03]
Teil fünf: In which we check the links in a golden chain and drop a few famous names, like Moe, Larry, and Elvis
[hey Moe! hey Larry! Hey Moe! Hey Larry!]
so the symbolism in these moon rocks is such that each one of them deserves an episode all on its own... and believe me, there are way more than just uh, 3 of them...
[do not do that. please! no, no, no!]
hey, don't worry... I won't...
so, you already know why Hansel is picking up those pebbles in the first place, right...?
[no!]
well, I know we haven't gotten that far in the fairytale yet, but you and I already know Hansel is gonna drop them along the path so that he and Gretel can find their way back home... back to the house of the father...
these pebbles are the first iteration of the famous breadcrumb trail...
[no, really?]
uh, yeah, really... and remember I mentioned that business of tracing an unbroken line of teachers going all the way back to Hermes Trismegistus himself...
[certainly!]
right... I have Peter Kingsley to thank for that insight... and for being one of those teachers... in fact, both Peter Kingsley and Carl Jung are major links in that chain, and while Jung can be very difficult for beginners to read and digest, Peter Kingsley is much more accessible... and wonderfully enough, he's still around...
I'll leave a link:
Peter Kingsley — The Golden Chain
[thank you]
there’s an unbroken chain of wise Intuitive teachers that you and I are connected to via Agrippa and, of course, via our acquaintance with Hansel, who I said, is the spitting image of Agrippa...
and so, each of Hansel's pebbles represents one of those Intuitive Hermetic teachers...
[are you sure about that?]
I am, actually... or at least my Intuition is...
I had wanted to name some of the most important teachers in that chain and I wanted to say just a little something about each of them... if only because the author of our fairytale (and the Cumean Sybil) wanted us to learn about them...
[how do you know that?]
well, that's because I've already gone through the entire fairytale and learned most, if not all of it's secrets... and that, my frents, is one of them...
[okay, alright, we believe you — thousands wouldn’t]
[ahem]
so, just like Hansel’s pebbles, I wanted to drop some of those names, one by one starting with Agrippa, and leading as far back as I could through Western European History...
but I’m not gonna do that here and now... and I’m not gonna do that in the next episode...
[Oh my God! Thank God!]
my plan is to drop those names in special, very short extra episodes... so that’s all I’ll say about them now... except for one of them...
[really?]
uh yeah... her name is Marcellina... she was a Theurgist and teacher of the Intuitive arts from the second century CE... you can read something about her in Wikipedia, but you have to read between the lines to understand how extraordinary she was... and how very much like Agrippa she must have been...
in fact, all that we know about here comes mostly from those old wind-bag heresy hunters we met in episode 28...
[boo]
Marcellina fits into this episode because aside from the nasty, misogynist things those old geezers had to say about her, one thing in particular sheds an amazing new light on the idea of talking heads... something I had never realized, but that my Intuition was all over...
according to Irenaeus:
They possess images, some of them painted...; while they maintain that a likeness of Christ was made by Pilate (back) when Jesus lived among them. They crown these images, and set them up with the images of the philosophers of the world (like) Pythagoras, and Plato,...and the rest. They also have other modes of honoring these images....
[this is lame]
hey, I get it... all he’s saying is that Marcellina and her crew had paintings and statues of Christ and Pythagoras, and honored them... like you can't find statues of Jesus Christ anywhere and everywhere...
🎶 I don't care if it rains or freezes, long as I got my plastic Jeezuz... 🎶
[WTF?]
I guess even the inclusion of Pythagoras makes it sound less interesting than the pink velvet Elvis I bought at the NY State fair 30 years ago... right?
[affirmative!]
even so, my Intuition though, is telling me that those images weren't just for show... and they weren't souvenirs... I suspect they were honored in the same way that Hermes Trismegistus meant when he taught Asclepius about statues... in other words... via that Theurgic ritual known as animating statues... — what Jung spoke of as Active Imagination...
[oh no, you can’t be serious! that is some bullshit right there!]
hey, your opinion says it ain’t so... but my Intuition says, fuck yeah... that’s what they were doing...
[oh my god!]
consider this too: the wikipedia article mentions the ideas of Professor Joan E. Taylor — a writer and historian — from her well researched book: What Did Jesus Look Like?
according to the Professor, Irenaeus doesn’t say that Marcellina’s portrait of Jesus was inaccurate.... AND it may even have survived the centuries...
apparently a 3rd Century Roman emperor: Alexander Severus (reigned 222 – 235) had a collection of portrait busts of famous guys including Jesus, Orpheus, Alexander the Great, and Abraham.
[yeah, so what?]
so, Doctor Taylor was all hyped about the fact that some accurate portrait, or portrait busts of Jesus may still be around... maybe mistaken for somebody else, or even as an unidentified bust in a museum collection somewhere...
[wow!]
of course it was common for Romans to worship their deities and ancestors... their Lares... in the form of statues and such... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lares
[what did you say that was called?]
[my name is Larry Nelson. this is a notification call from our department of tax debt and financial settlement services]
[quiet, porcupine!]
[ahem]
it's Lares: L-A-R-E-S
anyway, my Intuition says that Theurgists like Marcellina would have animated those statues and images as if they were Talking Heads... communicating with them through their Intuition... and all for the sake of Henosis and the soul...
[yes y'all. yes, today we're gonna feel the goodness of good vibes]
[certainly!] https://archive.org/details/DisorderInTheCourt720p1936 Disorder in the Court
In our next episode:
we’re going to move on to the next one or two lines of the fairy tale...
[are you sure?]
well, yeah, I’m sure we’re moving on... see the next 2 lines are nowhere near as loaded as this last line has been, and so we might go through them both in one episode...
for now, let me just remind you of the last line — the one that had us digging in so deeply on the subject of Theurgy and Hermeticism... and then I'll give you the next 2 lines, so you know where we’re headed:
the moon shone, and the little white pebbles in front of the house glistened. The little boy carefully picked them up and filled his jacket pocket with as many as he could carry.
After this, he returned to bed with his sister and fell asleep. Early next morning, before the sun rose, the father and mother came to wake the children and take them into the forest. They gave them each a small piece of bread, [...]
well, there it is... I think you’ve heard enough from me for today...
[got that right]
just don't forget, you can find the full transcript with all of the links I mentioned, as well as a few surprises on the website...
[where, where, where?]
hey, you know the drill...
[visit us on the web...]
betweenthelines.xyz
alrighty then, ciao a tutti...
🎶 silly uke music 🎶
[goodbye]
got a question, or just want to say hi...?
*Chapter Titles read by Anna Jacobsen*
Music Credits
*🎶*🎶* Bleeping Demo by Kevin MacLeod of filmmusic.io
🎶 Anachronist 🎶 by Kevin MacLeod and licensed under filmmusic.io/standard-license
🎶 Let the Rest of The World Go By 🎶 (Brennan & Ball) recorded in 1928 by Frank Plada's Serenaders
kristo's awesome Peanut Gallery
(in order of appearance, and most, courtesy of freesound.org)
@00:00 🎶 Let the Rest of The World Go By 🎶 courtesy of hendmilk and freesound.org
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@00:05 "what is this?" courtesy of deleted_user_1390811 and freesound.org
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@00:07 “I don't know” courtesy of itinerantmonk108 and freesound.org
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@00:09 "are you sure?" courtesy of nuncaconci and freesound.org
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@00:11 "OMG!" courtesy of buggly and freesound.org
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@00:14 "...immature audiences" courtesy of cognito perceptu and freesound.org
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@00:21 "In the beginning..." courtesy of unfa and freesound.org
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@00:27 🎶 heavenly choir 🎶 courtesy of liezen3 and freesound.org
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@00:29 F-Bombs warning: (special) thanks to our good friend Ame Sanders of stateofinclusion.com
@00:41 "F F F F" courtesy of Puniho and freesound.org
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@00:55 "KABOOM!" courtesy of unfa and freesound.org
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@00:49 "saying the F word" courtesy of maso25mcnic and freesound.org
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@00:59 "...what a terrible curse!" - Sir Joseph Whemple
@01:03 🎶 dramatic organ intro 🎶 courtesy of Aeonemi and freesound.org
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@01:06 🎶 deep church bell 🎶 courtesy of Aeonemi and freesound.org
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@01:21 "you're finished..." - Michael Corleone
@01:29 "not very good" courtesy of The Baron and freesound.org
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@01:31 "ahem" courtesy of Alivvie and freesound.org
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@01:43 "who are you...?" courtesy of https://freesound.org/people/cognito perceptu/ and freesound.org
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@01:47 "...noise pollution" courtesy of deleted_user_1390811 and freesound.org
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@02:24 "pirate says..." courtesy of Anzbot and freesound.org
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@02:36 "um, I think not..." courtesy of scatlin and freesound.org
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@02:52 "who cares?" courtesy of ballOOnhead and freesound.org
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@03:07 “OOOH!!!” - Johnny Vincente
@03:21 "go to hell!" courtesy of Roses1401 and freesound.org
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@03:23 "let's go" courtesy of pyro13djt and freesound.org
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PART ONE / Teil eins @03:29
03:38 "eenie meenie..." - Rocky and Bullwinkle
@03:45 "...tin of beans" courtesy of aarongbuk and freesound.org
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@03:45 "Yikes!" courtesy of jorickhoofd and freesound.org
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@04:01 "hip, hip hooray" - Garrison Sergeant Major Billy Mott of the Welsh Guards
@04:29 "of course" courtesy of bectec and freesound.org
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@04:42 "that's correct" courtesy of bogenseeberg and freesound.org
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@05:01 "my name is unimportant" courtesy of Duisterwho and freesound.org
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@05:14 "I don't know anymore" courtesy of Duisterwho and freesound.org
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@05:37 "oh, wow man" courtesy of bowlingballout and freesound.org
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@05:38 "wanna know a secret?" courtesy of carmsie and freesound.org
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@05:55 "definitely" courtesy of bectec and freesound.org
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@06:10 "so...why...?" courtesy of soundsofscience and freesound.org
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@06:22 "I remember" - the head of Nostradamus
@06:49 "what the fuck does that mean?" courtesy of The Baron and freesound.org
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@07:11 "BORING!!" - Assertive Fluttershy
@07:27 "ooh... I like that" courtesy of nuncaconci and freesound.org
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@07:48 "most assuredly" courtesy of bectec and freesound.org
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@08:01 "(confused) what...??" courtesy of Alivvie and freesound.org
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@08:06 "okay Boomer" - Chlöe Swarbrick
@08:16 "mickey mouse much?" courtesy of Duisterwho and freesound.org
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@08:34 “really?” courtesy of michellelindemann1 and freesound.org
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@09:04 "that’s bad" courtesy of Reitanna Seishin and freesound.org
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@09:25 ...all superstition - Mr. Renfield
@09:49 ...secret recipe - anonymous TV announcer / voice actor
@10:00 "ahem" courtesy of Alivvie and freesound.org
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@10:14 "and why not?" courtesy of annadnewby and freesound.org
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@10:25 "what?" courtesy of Roses1401 and freesound.org
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@10:30 "what?" courtesy of Krystal Flores and freesound.org
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@10:36 "no way" courtesy of kathid and freesound.org
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@10:52 "Can you keep my secret?" courtesy of Tim Kahn and Amy Gedgaudas and freesound.org
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@10:55 "...I don't know" courtesy of Duisterwho and freesound.org
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@11:08bollocks... courtesy of RoivasUGO and freesound.org
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@11:20 "...Grade A bullshit" courtesy of cookies+policy and freesound.org
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@11:24 "...Illuminati?" courtesy of Duisterwho and freesound.org
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@12:08 "alright already, get on with it!" courtesy of metrostock99 and freesound.org
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@12:24 "no way!" courtesy of owly-bee and freesound.org
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@12:37 “...killer thighs” courtesy of Tim Kahn and Amy Gedgaudas and freesound.org
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@12:41 "how do you know that?" courtesy of Duisterwho and freesound.org
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@12:47 "I’m sorry, what?" courtesy of Alivvie and freesound.org
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@12:48 “...I am confused” courtesy of cheesepuff and freesound.org
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@13:05 "what are you talking about?" courtesy of laelizondo and freesound.org
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@13:12 "I remember" - the head of Nostradamus
@13:34 "OMG!!!" courtesy of Krystal Flores and freesound.org
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@13:59 "this is confusing..." courtesy of Krystal Flores and freesound.org
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@14:05 "No Sir!" courtesy of theuncertainman and freesound.org
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@14:41 "oh God, oh Jesus" courtesy of Reitanna Seishin and freesound.org
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@16:11 “nonsense!” courtesy of afterguard and freesound.org
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@16:42 "are you out of your mind?" courtesy of Duisterwho and freesound.org
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@16:53 "No!" courtesy of theuncertainman and freesound.org
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@17:13 "you're kidding, right?" courtesy of max_cristos and freesound.org
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@17:33 "oh, no!" courtesy of AmeAngelofSin and freesound.org
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@17:44 "oh, no!" courtesy of AmeAngelofSin and freesound.org
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@18:03 "oh, crap!" courtesy of AmeAngelofSin and freesound.org
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@18:50 "Piertotum..." - Prof. Minerva McGonagal
@18:57 "Oh my God! Ridiculous!" courtesy of Duisterwho and freesound.org
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PART TWO / Teil zwei @19:05
@19:18 "get off my lawn!" courtesy of HootOwl and freesound.org
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@19:24 lawn mower courtesy of SmiertSpionem and freesound.org
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@19:58 "fine then" courtesy of deleted_user_1390811 and freesound.org
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@20:42 "yeah, so what?" courtesy of deleted_user_1390811 and freesound.org
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@21:23 "ha, ha, right" courtesy of itinerantmonk108 and freesound.org
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@22:11 🎶 angelic sublime choir 🎶 courtesy of bone666138 and freesound.org
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@24:07 "this doesn't smell quite the way I expected" courtesy of cognito perceptu and freesound.org
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@24:35 "are you crazy much?" courtesy of Duisterwho and freesound.org
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@27:26 "per forza!" - Prof. Sassaroli
@27:42 "senza dubbio!" - Irene Grandi
@28:20 "blah, blah, blah" courtesy of unfa and freesound.org
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@28:27 🎶 psycho killer & Amelie Mac VO 🎶
@28:33 "(an exasperated) oh boy... oh boy..." courtesy of AmeAngelofSin and freesound.org
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PART THREE / Teil drei @28:37
@28:52 "no autographs!" - DJMichael356
@28:56 "they hate you...!" courtesy of AmeAngelofSin and freesound.org
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@29:00 "who are you talking to, lady?" courtesy of Duisterwho and freesound.org
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@29:02 "...in our own heads" courtesy of ZZZTEFANOS and freesound.org
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@29:07 "ahem" courtesy of Alivvie and freesound.org
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@29:33 "alright, if you insist" courtesy of bogenseeberg and freesound.org
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@29:38 "oh no, not again!" - John Hurt
@30:15 "oooh" courtesy of brunchik and freesound.org
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@30:27 "what is that?" courtesy of pyro13djt and freesound.org
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@30:36 "huh...?" courtesy of Adam_N and freesound.org
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@30:44 "I remember that..." courtesy of juskiddink and freesound.org
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@31:00 "what’s that?" courtesy of ballOOnhead and freesound.org
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@31:24 "alright, if you say so" courtesy of Anna Jacobsen
@29:38 "oh no, not again!" - John Hurt
@31:43 "can you please explain..." - Frenchie
@32:07 "oooh" courtesy of brunchik and freesound.org
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@32:23 "sounds interesting" courtesy of kurtless and freesound.org
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@32:34 Spanish lesson courtesy of delaneyrose13 and freesound.org
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@32:45 "oh brother!" courtesy of max_cristos and freesound.org
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@33:06 "good idea" courtesy of Legnalegna55 and freesound.org
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@33:06 "oh wow! I love it!" courtesy of saucyliltart and freesound.org
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@35:26 "true, dat..." - Omar
@35:28 "but that is not all" courtesy of arytopia and freesound.org
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@36:16 "okay" courtesy of Legnalegna55 and freesound.org
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@36:33 "I want that one..." courtesy of aarongbuk and freesound.org
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@37:01 "maybe" courtesy of deleted_user_1390811 and freesound.org
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@37:18 dad joke groans" courtesy of TeamMasaka and freesound.org
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@37:24 "...that ball knows everything" - Milhouse Van Houten & Nelson Muntz
PART FOUR / Teil vier @37:36
@37:51 "Professor Albert Einstein..." - anonymous voice artist
@37:58 "Big Al here..." - Big Al
@38:01 "WTF!" courtesy of buggly and freesound.org
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@38:36 "Behold, the mystery of the cosmos" courtesy of Fynixx and freesound.org
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@38:51 "oh, and I suppose you think that’s funny, huh..." courtesy of shawshank73 and freesound.org
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@39:31 "he was holy..." courtesy of Duisterwho and freesound.org
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@40:07 "...double duality" courtesy of Krystal Flores and freesound.org
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@40:48 "why, why, why, why?" courtesy of Reitanna Seishin and freesound.org
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@40:56 "he takes steroids" - Mark Plummer
@40:58 "steroids? in Germany?" - anonymous bodybuilder
@41:04 "ahem" courtesy of Alivvie and freesound.org
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@41:08 dad joke groans" courtesy of TeamMasaka and freesound.org
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@41:24 "I agree" courtesy of bectec and freesound.org
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@41:33 "what’s that?" courtesy of ballOOnhead and freesound.org
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@41:46 "awww" courtesy of vahdena and freesound.org
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@42:05 "hey, can I touch yer butt?" courtesy of MadamVicious and freesound.org
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@42:08 "ja! buns and thighs" courtesy of kurtless and freesound.org
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@42:11 "ahem" courtesy of Alivvie and freesound.org
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@42:17 "oh yeah..." - Michael Knight
@42:33 "(giggle) I don't know" courtesy of nfrae and freesound.org
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@42:48 "Jesus Christ!" courtesy of max_cristos and freesound.org
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@43:02 "steroids? - anonymous interviewer
@43:16 "ew!" courtesy of isabellaquintero97 and freesound.org
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@43:29 "oh God, oh Jesus" courtesy of Reitanna Seishin and freesound.org
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@43:51 "...not funny" courtesy of cognito perceptu and freesound.org
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@44:23 "am I right...???" - Ned Ryerson
@44:27 "wahrscheinlich beim Wachwechsel" courtesy of ballOOnhead and freesound.org
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@44:29 "ja, ja, it's okay” courtesy of Roses1401 and freesound.org
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@44:44 "so what!" courtesy of deleted_user_1390811 and freesound.org
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@45:22 "WTF!" courtesy of Magic-Cap and freesound.org
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@46:24 "cha-ching!" courtesy of angelak_m and freesound.org
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@46:31 "I like that!" courtesy of FreqMan and freesound.org
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@46:52 "I don't think so" courtesy of deleted_user_1390811 and freesound.org
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@47:10 "roger that" courtesy of Legnalegna55 and freesound.org
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@47:12 "we've been at this for hours now" courtesy of IPaddeh and freesound.org
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@48:00 "hooray!" courtesy of javapimp and freesound.org
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@48:16 "...shut your yapper!" courtesy of Airborne80 and freesound.org
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@48:23 "tired of searching..." courtesy of IPaddeh and freesound.org
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@48:27 "gonna take a little break" courtesy of IPaddeh and freesound.org
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@48:29 "are you coming, Curtis?" courtesy of IPaddeh and freesound.org
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PART FIVE / Teil fünf @48:35
@48:50 "Hey Moe! Hey Larry!" - Curly
@49:11 "do not...! no, no no...!" courtesy of Duisterwho and freesound.org
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@49:23 "No!" courtesy of theuncertainman and freesound.org
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@49:43 "no, really?” courtesy of Duisterwho and freesound.org
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@49:56 "Certainly!" - Curly
@50:25 "thank you" courtesy of Legnalegna55 and freesound.org
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@50:48 "are you sure about that?" courtesy of Duisterwho and freesound.org
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@51:12 "how do you know that?" courtesy of Duisterwho and freesound.org
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@51:27 "we believe you. thousands wouldn't" - Dani Christmas
@51:36 "ahem" courtesy of Alivvie and freesound.org
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@51:55 "Oh my God! Thank God!" - Carmela Soprano
@52:12 "really?!" courtesy of Reitanna Seishin and freesound.org
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@52:51 "boo! (couple of people)" courtesy of jayfrosting and freesound.org
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@53:40 "this is lame" courtesy of deleted_user_1390811 and freesound.org
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@53:57 🎶 Plastic Jesus 🎶 - Ed Rush and George Cromarty
@54:02 "WTF!" courtesy of buggly and freesound.org
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@54:16 "affitrmative!" courtesy of bectec and freesound.org
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@54:47 "oh no, you can't be serious..." courtesy of cognito perceptu and freesound.org
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@55:02 "OMG!" courtesy of buggly and freesound.org
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@55:47 "yeah, so what?" courtesy of deleted_user_1390811 and freesound.org
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@56:06 "wow!" courtesy of kerouacsamerica and freesound.org
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@56:16 "what did you say that was called?" courtesy of itinerantmonk108 and freesound.org
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@56:18 "My name is Larry..." courtesy of JohnLaVine333 and freesound.org
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@56:25 "Quiet, Porcupine!" - Moe
@56:53 "...good vibes" courtesy of Duisterwho and freesound.org
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@56:59 "Certainly!" - Curly
@57:07 "are you sure?" courtesy of Duisterwho and freesound.org
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@58:14 "you got THAT right" - Tony Soprano
@58:26 "where, where, where...?" courtesy of AmeAngelofSin and freesound.org
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@58:30 "visit us on the web @ WWWWWs…" courtesy of WillFitch1 and freesound.org
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@58:45 🎶 silly uke music 🎶 courtesy of qubodup and freesound.org
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@55:02 "goodbye" courtesy of buggly and freesound.org
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